“Be uncomfortable. Let fear, insecurities, and your ego run wild in the dark unseen and raw. Let them take you to the depths of hell until they devour themselves entirely and your only option is to watch, accept and finally, love.”
– Amy Jalapeno
It’s okay to hit rock bottom. I mean I’ve hit rock bottom so many times I’m not sure that the phrase actually applies here or for me. Rock bottom is supposed to be the ultimate, one-time thing, right? But I digress. Do you want to know the difference between my lowest points before practicing yoga, and the ones I have now? I have learned to love myself through the trials and pain. Before it was, let everything pile up and snowball and, sure, why not add some self loathing into the mix?! Of course I still have days or weeks where everything piles up and snowballs still Hell, this whole past month has felt like rock bottom to me. This one was longer for some reasons out of my control, but for the most part I snap out of it much quicker now. Not that it is the rate at which we move that matters, but how we approach what we are dealing with. How we approach our pain. How we approach ourselves. The difference now is that I know what my mind is capable of, which is thinking higher thoughts and taking a more loving, healthy and beneficial path. The mind, body and heart connection I’ve made through yoga is my backbone that supports me even when I’m not fully conscious that it is. It just kicks in, and that’s something I am so grateful for. Funny, I spend all of this time practicing being more conscious and mindful, and these things, such as positive thoughts and compassion for the self, become second nature.
Maybe when we’re feeling out of whack, we just need to find some alignment. Listen to and address the need that sits highest on your heart, and work your way from there. The beauty of misalignment, or rock bottoms, is that we can more clearly see what needs adjustment. The heart can speak when the mind lacks, the mind can empower the heart, the spirit is a constant that one of the two can light up when it feels dim. One always knows what the other is lacking. Trust in your rock bottoms. Fall deeply into them and when you’re ready, your body is your vessel. When you’re ready, align yourself back not to where you were, but in your new shape, with even more wisdom, strength, and heart. The new shape that looks even more like you