“Find out what you’re afraid of and go live there.” – Chuck Palahniuk
For so long now, my focus has been to fight away fears. I get so tired of fears holding me back in life. From accomplishing things, moving on, inconveniencing others, or opening up my heart..the list goes on. That concept of fighting hasn’t exactly worked for me, though. It was not until I reached a place of acceptance and love in my most vulnerable states could I understand that because change is the very existence of life, so too is the pain that comes along with it, and so then, fear. Fear of change. So fear will always be there, but fear is not the factor. The biggest and riskiest factor when it comes to fear is our suffering. We suffer when we live outside of the present moment, and forget to accept that with every instance of change in our lives, whether we perceive it as big or small, we have arrived to a new state, and so we must find and meet ourselves there. This is where we hold the power over fear- when we choose not to suffer because suffering is what holds us back, not fear itself.
There is no such thing as a life without fear or a life without pain, nor can they be fought and pushed away. There is only to meet yourself in each new moment, each new place, each new feeling, breath, experience, and state, and then, to accept. This way, life, and our ability to fully experience it, becomes less about fighting fears and more about welcoming those fears, which gives rise and courage to who you are capable of being in each new moment. Now I flow with the changes and I sit with my pain, but I am not fearless. Instead I am daring, love, understanding, acceptance, compassion, and more alive than I’ve ever been before.